"A true sexual intercourse must include penetration"
For millions of years human sexuality is not ordered any more by reproduction.
It became a game made of
excitation and pleasure.
As one can have pleasure
in thousand other ways, penetration is not mandatory stage any more.
Everybody can choose what he/she enjoys best from the many
Everybody can choose what he/she enjoys best from the many
possibilities that the human body offer.
Vaginismus is an involuntary cramp of the muscles which are around the entry of the vagina. It occurs like a reflex every time a woman attempts a penetration and can even prohibit any gynecological examination.
The main cause of this reflex is the absence of training of these muscles: young women generally did not get into the habit of teaching themselves to contract and to slacken them in turn. So that, at the time of the first attempted penetration, they are squeezed, forced, even very slightly, and they react by a protective contraction reflex. The following attempts have all the opportunities of causing a repetition of this reflex, sometimes even by anticipation. In the end, they build up the reflex and strengthen it. Sometimes, the pain, which the attempt at doing penetration starts, is the cause of the vaginismus.
Of course, any anxiety, any apprehension of sexual intercourse, can reinforce the risk that a vaginismus occurs. The “girls stories”, and all that one could have heard of on painful deflorations, the things that one can imagine about possible difficulties of penetration, the mental images that the intrusion of a foreign body into the deepest of one's own intimacy can cause, the interrogation in front of unknown feelings, without forgetting the importance which the first intercourse has as a milestone in any human being's life. Thus, there are a lot of reasons to be stressed out, to have all the muscles of one's body (belly, thighs, chest, jaws) already more or less contracted.
It would be necessary to be completely unconscious, or to be equipped with a particularly carefree nature, not to have a minimum of tension in such a novel moment. Unless not having one’s feet on the ground any more, “to have taken off”, thanks to a very strong excitation, a loss of conscience in the dash of love … or even because of some dose of alcohol!
Blocking can be reinforced by multiple reasons of psychological origin such as a fear of sexuality in general, the absence of desire of having intercourse at this time, mistrust towards the partner, even his rejection, dislike or repulsion which he causes. It is not rare that it is the attitude of the partner who creates the blocking, partner whose proper apprehension can be communicative, whose awkwardness frightens or hurts, whose absence of dash causes interrogations on one’s own seduction… All of which do not make it easy to relax!
These psychological reasons are possibly reinforced by personality disorders such as phobias, generalized anxiety, or obsessions.
Vaginismus can start very easily, and so there are 1000 reasons to see it happening. That is not extraordinary at all, and even the most confident woman can be trapped without a warning.
